


Beyond the Red

by hatori



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Boy Love, M/M, Romance, marco/jean - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 11:54:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2580533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatori/pseuds/hatori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean the punk and Marco the prep. Two people completely opposite by nature but pulled together by destiny, oh and did I mention Jean is a deadly ghoul?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Past Calling

"Marco, are you coming or not? You were the one that was _sooo_ interested in this case."  
  
I looked up to see Levi hovering over me as I filled out some last second paperwork.  
  
I nodded, "One second."  
  
I was very interested. I won't lie, I had wanted to be on this case because I had found myself intrigued by the description of this new ghoul that had been causing concern in the area. My colleagues thought I had only peaked an interest because I grew bored of my desk job but to be honest I didn't mind doing paperwork, I didn't mind organizing or bringing people their coffee when they requested. I was use to the quiet, enjoyed it, but this case I couldn't pass up. The traits, the characteristics, these witnesses were describing sounded just like him...  
  
I needed to know. I needed to see with my own two eyes that the boy I had once come to love was not, now, the man that he promised he would never become.  
  
"Okay done."  
  
Levi rolled his eyes before motioning me to follow him as he walked to his car.  
  
Levi stopped as we stood in front of his sports car, "Listen, you're a newbie so stay close and don't get in my way. I don't need to clean up another dead body."  
  
"I-I won't."  
  
He nodded, "Good."  
  
Another dead body? Was I only weight upon his shoulders rather than an ally? I had trained at the same academy, taken the same classes. Got drilled into just as he had...  
  
I know we had an age difference of about ten years but still, I was trained just the same.  
  
Knowing better though, I kept my mouth shut. Levi might be a tiny man that I towered over easily but he had a temper that terrified anyone, that is except Erwin.  
"Erwin is going to meet up with us at this club we're going to. He had other things to take care of before this."  
  
Speak of the devil.  
  
I nodded listening as we drove towards our destination.  
  
Erwin had always been the one man that seemed to have a strange sense of calm around him (even though he had an intense gaze). Due to Levi's strong personality and dislike for all around him, even the humans that were his own kind, he was paired up with Erwin so that someone had a reign over this tiny man and was there to clean up the mess he always seemed to conjure up.  
  
To be honest, there were many rumors around the two due to the fact that Erwin had a way with Levi no one else ever came close to so around the office people would gossip if they were more than just work partners. For me, it wouldn't come as a surprise. I had worked with them long enough to notice the subtle touches, the close proximity they stood near each other. Hell even the way Levi's dull stare suddenly became lively around Erwin.  
They were cute. I would support them if they came out, but I would never dare say that to their faces. I could only imagine the gruesome beating I would receive from Levi.  
  
"Once again I will say this, stay close, listen to me and don't get in my way-" Levi started as we parked his car.  
  
"Levi!" Erwin called from across the street.  
  
Levi and I looked up to the tall blonde man and immediately headed towards him.  
  
"Have you seen anyone who looks like him?" Levi asked as he took his place by Erwin's side- too close for friends.  
  
"No, but it's a little early. Rumor is he comes around midnight and it's about fifteen minutes till then so we can kill some time."  
  
Levi nodded and walked inside the club with Erwin following close behind.  
  
"I'm getting a drink."  
  
"Should you be drinking when we're working?"  
  
Levi looked up to the blonde and gently punched his stomach before looked up to Erwin, communicating something through his glare that only Erwin picked up on.  
  
"Fine, newbie go with him," Erwin pushed me towards him as he disappeared in the crowd.  
  
"B-But-!"  
  
I was shoved into the pit of swaying bodies and as gracefully as I could, maneuvered out of the crowd and practically crawled towards the bar finding Levi sitting on a barstool sipping a beer he had ordered seconds ago.  
"You finally made it," Levi spoke sarcastically.  
  
I brushed off his comment and took a seat next to him.  
  
"So kid you ever going to tell me why you wanted to help me out on this case?"  
  
I could feel my face start to turn a bright pink at the thought of the man I was looking for.  
  
I couldn't dare tell Levi the truth or they would turn me in as an accomplice even though I had not spoken to the man since high school.  
  
"I-I just wanted to learn from the best-"  
  
"Bullshit and you know it. We had other cases. You jumped on this one the second you heard it. Spill-"  
  
"Seriously, Levi I was just interested in working with you-"  
  
"Levi!"  
  
Oh - thank god for the tall German known as Erwin.  
  
"I need you to check out upstairs while I scout out this area, I checked but I want you to make sure I didn't miss seeing the guy."  
  
Levi nodded and without a second thought left his empty seat to allow Erwin to occupy it.  
  
"Don't let him intimidate you. He's cares a lot, just doesn't show it."  
  
I smirked, he would know that side of Levi better than anyone.  
  
"So how do you like the office work or would you prefer to be out on the field like us? Keep in mind ghouls these days are becoming more aggressive and they seem to be growing in numbers."  
I smiled, "I want to be on the field but I think I would be too frightened if a situation where I had to kill a ghoul would ever occur."  
  
He nodded, "At least you know where you stand."  
  
I wrapped my hand around the beer and sighed, what was I really doing here?  
  
"What the fuck you say!?"  
  
Erwin and I both turned our attention to Levi's voice that boomed over the speakers and looked up to the second floor balcony to find Levi going after a kid who most likely called him 'shorty' and didn't know they had just insulted the devil himself.  
"Shit," Erwin turned to me, "Stay here!"  
  
I shook my head furiously and ushered Erwin to run to his lovers' aid.  
  
That guy really needed to let things like that just brush off rather than attack anyone who said the tiniest insult.  
  
"You want another drink?" the bartender asked as I pushed my beer to the side.  
  
"N-No thank you," I stuttered.  
  
He smiled before continuing to the next customer.  
  
I turned to watch the large group of people dancing, grinding on one another and enjoying each others' company not knowing the worries of ghouls inhabiting this club. I wish I was as care free but after years of dealing with the evil that came with ghouls I knew all too well the fear and the level of ignorance I needed to live a normal life. Yet, that could never happen. I had dove too deep, had fallen into a black abyss that I could never get out of that is-  
I looked up from the crowd and for a moment swore I could feel eyes on me.  
  
"Erwin?" I turned around me to see if it was only his gaze that had fallen upon me but there across the club in a VIP booth sat the boy I had once loved-no, the man. He had grown larger, stronger. I could tell by the toned muscles underneath his skin tight tank top.  
  
He was every bit the boy that once was but at the same time completely different. Torn jeans, leather jacket, necklace that his mother had given him right before she had been killed by the CCG.  
  
His style was the same, the punk rock look he had worn since the day I had met him. Those eyebrow piercings., lip piercing, nose piercing, ear piercings... It was the same but he was a man now.  
  
He was twenty five, a man with toned muscles and strong cheek bones that made me weak. And god damn that gaze, that gaze that had captured me so many times before he had taken me to heaven and back.  
  
I couldn't look away. I couldn't see anyone else, I couldn't hear the music anymore only my own heart beating out of my chest.  
He started to move away from the group he was with.  
  
I should move -  
  
He pushed past a beautiful girl, eyes still locked on mine.  
  
Where was Erwin? Why wasn't my body moving - ?!  
  
Slowly he walked until he stood right in front of me.  
  
"Marco..." he whispered as he stood a foot away from me.  
  
"Marco..." again he whispered as if unsure that I was really before him.  
  
It would be over if I said his name. I knew it would. I was be sucked in like a love struck puppy once again but in the moment I didn't care. I wanted to know the man he had become. I wanted to know how he was, what had he been doing the years we had been apart. Did he miss me? Did he think of me as I thought of him when I was lonely? Did he know that I wished for his safety every time I walked upon a crime scene with a ghoul and prayed that every single body I looked at wasn't his?  
  
He couldn't have known what I was thinking. Didn't know the pain he had left with me after he disappeared years ago, but it didn't matter now. My heart wanted him, wanted all of him.  
  
"Jean..." I whispered back.


	2. Hopeful Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Jean gets jealous.  
> Marco relives there past   
> and promises are made.

Jean reached out for me, to touch my cheek like he had down so many times before.

Why was he here? Why had he truly been the one people had been describing in the reports at my work? Where had he been? Who was keeping him company at night? Who was he allowing to spend the night? Or had he been alone just as I had?

All these questions were at the tip of my tongue but as he trailed his thumb down my cheek and to my chin I lost all train of thought and fell into the natural motion that I had, to allow him to kiss me.

He started to pull me in and I was going to fall for it but then I heard my co-workers voice.

"Marco!?" 

I snapped back into reality and pulled away from Jean's grasp to lock eyes with Erwin who was staring at me in awe. 

I immediately knew my mistake. 

"I-I-" started to stammer. What am I going to do?

I was going to run up to Erwin, stop him from attacking Jean, to tell him they had the wrong person but before I could make a move Jean had grabbed my arm and started to pull me away from the situation.

"J-Jean!?" 

He looked forward only seeing the exit in sight.

"Jean! I need to-" I started.

He slammed the exit door behind us and knew it would take a moment for Erwin to push through the crowd and catch up.

"Who is that!?" Jean snapped as he pushed me against the cold brick wall.

"What?" 

He was seething. 

His grip tightened around my wrists and I whimpered in pain. 

"Jean- please!"

"What is he to you!? Your new fuck buddy-!?"

I couldn't take it anymore. Who was he to accuse me of being unfaithful? I wasn't the one who left.

I got out of his grip and slapped him across his face to bring him back into reality. 

"Marco-!"

I knew the only way to reel him back to see the truth in front of him that was so obviously clear....

I slammed into him, kissed him, held onto him as if I were to let go I would fall to my death.

He was only person in my life to affect me. He was the only one to make me swoon and the near mention of his name. He had to know this and if he didn't I would be insulted.

It had been years, he may have changed into a completely different person then the boy who I would do this to before but as I hungered for him with intensity he did the same in return.

He kissed me sloppily, eagerly to have all of me.

He felt me up as we found each other once again and for a second I thought he was going to bend me over in that alley way and take me but he pulled away before he could give himself the chance.

"Jean-?"

"Come!"

Jean grabbed my hand and made me sprint out into a run towards the train station.

Let me tell you about Jean...  
He knew danger better than anyone and had always been aware of his surroundings more than a normal person should. He would always be the kid to constantly check his surroundings wherever he went. For not a single moment he was calm that was until he was safely in my bedroom or in his own. Only there did he have eyes for me, only there did he allow himself to get lost in my embrace.

High school was hard for him, not academically, but socially. He was always the _punk_ who was getting into trouble: starting fights, finding himself in a fight, ditching classes, smoking outside the school gym when he should be going to gym itself.

I had noticed him the moment he had transferred and so did everyone else. He was hard to ignore with his piercings and strong presence of hatred he conveyed to everyone he came across. 

Everyone was scared of him, I would admit that I was scared of him too in the beginning. I would sometimes never even dare look out the classroom window since his seat was in the way of my gaze. That's how terrified I felt but it wasn't until I realized we practically lived a street away and had to take the same route home from school that suddenly he didn't seem that intimidating. On several occasions I had watched him pet the stray cat that always seemed to greet him when he was about to go home. He was gentle with it, never harsh or mean, simply gentle and the expression he wore was the same. 

I know, I sound like a stalker but anyone would be interested in a boy who always looked like he wanted to kill someone at school and then so easily would change into a boy who would stop his day to pay attention to a helpless animal. 

It also didn't help that I was hopelessly attracted to him after I saw him with that animal.   
I would dream about being held that dearly, being the one who would receive the affection that Jean would convey. I wanted it so badly but never spoke a word to him. Never built up the courage to talk to him.

Months passed by with my creepy habits of watching him as he walked home and it wasn't until December of my junior year that Jean spoke to him.

"What do you want?" Jean asked as he held the cat in his arms.

I could feel my face turning red, he must have known that I had been following him everyday-

"Are you trying to fuck with me huh?" 

I looked at him in confusion. No, it was a misunderstanding-

"Trying to dig up some dirt on me to tell your annoying ass prep friends? Huh?!"

"No- I just-"

"You've just been following me for months, you don't think I smell-"

He became deadly still at his slip up and turned away from me.

"Don't think I'm some joke! I can beat you down easy just as-"

"That's not it!" I finally screamed.

"Those people aren't my friends. I'm not here to pick on you or find something out that can be used against you I just- I just thought you could use a friend!"

His eyes went wide in shock. He wasn't expecting this...Some freckled kid yelling at him, offering him friendship- If I was a bystander I'd find it strange too.

"I don't need friends, especially not one like you-"

"W-What-!?" I started after him but he quickly walked away leaving me on the snow covered road alone.

For months I didn't know what he meant by that. Had no idea what he was getting at but knew I had to find out why he said that.  
Slowly I became more aware of my actions and how I mingled with people. I would never brush someone off when they asked me to copy my notes or to beg me to teach them how to do the assignment. I was a pushover, I was letting people that were my so called 'friends' to society walk all over me then ignore me when they discussed going out to a karaoke bar and I tried to ask if I could come.   
I was exactly as he said, a person who shouldn't be considered a friend because all I was good for was to get a good grade on the next test. 

I had grown disgusted with myself and started to cut off everyone one by one. What was the point in helping people who weren't even willing to call you their friend to others'?

I started to sit by myself at lunch in the library or in the school garden to get away from watchful eyes. I didn't need to hear their comments about my changed behavior or my lack of social interaction. 

"Can I sit here?" 

I looked up to see the blonde haired boy that had insulted me only weeks before.

"Y-Yeah, that's fine."

I looked away as he took a seat next to me on the bench and pulled out a cigarette.

"T-That's bad for your health-" I whispered.

He laughed. Actually laughed!

"This won't kill me. There's more things to worry about."

I nodded and dropped the subject. Who was I to say that the fights he got into wouldn't kill him first?

"Courageous what you did there. Cutting off those assholes like you did. I'm proud of you kid-"

"Kid!? I'm the same age-"

Jean laughed again, and waved me to calm down.

"I know, just messing with you. Don't be so high strung, yeah?"

I broke out into a bright blush and turned away from him once again. I'm an idiot, a big idiot, he was trying to get a reaction out of me.

"So when are you going to confess your undying love for me?"

I could feel my eyes go wide and my whole body tense. He knew? No he's joking-

"I-I-I- don't-" I stuttered horribly, making his words ring true.

He smirked, "Only joking, freckles. We should hangout after school sometime though, you're funny."

That- that was the moment I was forever hooked to him. His laugh. His smile. The way when he was embarrassed he would scratch the back of his head and avert his eyes. 

He was my first love. The boy whom I built up in my head as the man of my dreams (even though my mother strongly disapproved of even my mere friendship with him, mother was never too fond of his outer appearance). I never thought he would reciprocate my feelings if I actually confessed so I kept my feelings locked away until I was in the privacy of my own bedroom where I would imagine him all over me. 

I spent nights in my fantasy world and let my imagination run wild as to how it would feel if he merely touched me. I told myself I was content with only that, the fantasy.  
And I was- that was until he knocked on my window over our spring break and asked if he could spend the night at my place.

I said yes without hesitation. 

He climbed inside my room and looked around, taking in the simplicity of my room. 

"I-I can go get the futon-"

"No, I'll just sleep with you-"

Heat washed over me. My heart hammered in my chest.

He scratched the back of his head and looked away, "If that's okay?"

I nodded without saying a word and crawled into bed having Jean follow me closely behind.

He pulled the blankets over us and I turned away from him to hide the fact that I was burning a bright red and that I was embarrassed that my only thought in that moment was _what if I got a boner while he was here?_

I tried to steady my breathing, to tell myself to think of absolutely nothing that would put myself in an awkward situation. For minutes I repeated a mantra in my head telling myself to stay calm, breathe, think of homework, chores, anything that would distract me. 

"Marco?" he whispered.

"Mmm?"   
I knew if I would open my mouth I would surely say something stupid.

"Look at me."

Wait, what?

I turned around to face him and in a split second his lips were on mine.

I froze. What was he doing? Why did he-? Wait is that a piercing on his tongue?

My body slowly started to react and before I knew it we were making out in a frenzy. His desire was crazy and I reacted the same. I never knew this feeling, never knew that your mind and the whole world could go completely silent.

"I'm sorry- I'm-" Jean started as he pulled away and flung himself away from me.

"I shouldn't have- I didn't-"

"Jean-" I spoke softly as I crawled towards him.

"I fucked everything up - "

"You didn't."

He looked up to me, "What? I shouldn't have-"

"Jean -"

One inch closer.

"I'm sorry - "

I grabbed his face and kissed him softly. 

"Marco - "

I trailed kisses down his neck and towards his chest.

"Marco, no stop!" 

He pushed me off of him and stood up.

"I can't, I can't have you involved with me. I'm not safe, I'm not the person you think I am - !"  
I got to my feet after brushing off the shock that he pushed me off so easily and showed self control.

"I know you. And I don't care if you get into fights or run into any other sort of trouble - "

"You don't know what you're saying."

"Yes, I do!"

Jean looked at me dead in the eyes and simply stared for what seemed like an eternity. 

"I've known you for a year now," I whispered, "I've seen how you are. I've tended wounds you've had. I've been there when you wanted to stay out till five in the morning with no explanation."

I sighed as I placed my hand on his chest, closing the gap between us, "I'm here for you Jean..."

He wrapped his hand around mine and stood still for a moment before he pulled my palm up to kiss it.

"Who would've thought I'd be the one to confess to you."

I looked up to him and simply smiled.

That night felt like ages ago but I still can recall it like it was yesterday. He had turned soft towards me from that moment on. He had shown me that loving gaze I had thought were only in movies. He had become mine from that moment on but as our relationship grew I had noticed he had become more anxious. He had started to always check any surrounding area we were in. He started to show reluctance to hold my hand and to kiss me in public. But as much as he pulled away from me I pulled him back into my arms to kiss me gently or wrap his arms around me as we walked down the street. 

I wasn't ashamed of him, but I started to question if he was ashamed of me? Was he afraid to let people see?

It wasn't until our senior year did I find out why - 

"Marco, let's go," Jean said as he pulled me into the train and lead us to two vacant seats.

The train ride was quiet except for the steel on the tracks sliding, pulling us towards what I assumed would be his new found home.

We exited in the city of Jinae and silently he pulled me along until we walked upstairs to the third floor of an apartment complex. He unlocked the front door and ushered me inside before he quickly followed.

He turned the lights on to illuminate the large apartment. It was massive for looking so quaint. A large living room with a small tv and a plethora of bookshelves lined with novels and educational books. His kitchen was around the corner and for a guy who always seemed disorganized in life he organized his kitchen ridiculously well. 

His bedroom was further down the hallway.

Jean pulled me towards the bedroom where I knew he felt the most safe.

"Who is that man? What is he to you?"

I sighed and took off my coat, throwing it on a chair placed in the corner of the room.

"Did that kiss prove nothing to you?"

He grabbed my arm and pulled me close, "I won't ask again."

I pulled away from him and hugged myself, trying to hold back the tears that I could feel coming too fast.

"He's my coworker - "

"So your sleeping with your coworker!?"

"God dammit, Jean! I was working a case with him and his partner!" 

His eyes went wide.

"You don't know anything about me Jean, you've been gone for 6 years! A lot of things change! People change!"

He looked away.

"I work for the CCG now, I know you'll hate me for that but I didn't go into it to kill ghouls to kill your friends!"  
He scoffed, "Are you fucking with me? That organization ruins our lives!"

"You have no idea why I joined!"

"Then why!? Tell me why you joined the people that killed my mother!? That killed my friends -!?"

"I was trying to find you!" 

His eyes went wide, "What?"

I shook as the tears I held back started streaming down my face.

"I didn't know what to do after you left! I was by myself Jean! I-I couldn't face anyone anymore without seeing you. I needed to find you...I wanted to know you were at least okay and so I graduated college with a degree in administration then decided to just join the CCG. They have all the resources I needed to find you but I couldn't seem to catch you. I tried so hard just sitting in the background working over night even but it wasn't until yesterday I saw a new case file arrived and the description sounded just like you! I begged those investigators to let me go with them to see if I could get to you first and I did! You're here! You're alive..."

Jean pulled me into his chest and embraced me, "I'm alive. I'm right here."

"You just left Jean. You just left without me!" I sobbed into his chest.

"I know...I'm sorry - " he whispered.

I looked up to him yearning for the way he use to kiss me, the way he use to take away my fears and replace them with confidence and love.

"Marco," Jean whispered as he pulled my chin up to guide my lips to his.

"I'm sorry - "

He kissed me hard and fast pushing me towards his bed. I kissed back with intensity and this time didn't hold back in fear.

Jean unbuttoned my shirt and swiftly ripped off my pants and threw it to the side.

"Jean," I whispered as he trailed kisses down my stomach until he stopped at my erection, pulling back my underwear to reveal how much I desired him. He smirked and took me whole into his mouth.

"Jean - !!" I choked. 

It felt incredible. I didn't know being celibate this long would cause such a quick reaction.

"Jean - I can't-!!" I pleaded but without a minute more passing I came.

"You really haven't been with anyone else have you?" Jean smirked as he crawled back up to kiss me.

"I told you-"

He grabbed hold of me and quickly changed our positions to where I was on top of him, straddling him.

He reached for me and gently put one finger inside of me before placing another, opening me up for him. I rocked my hips into him and I moaned as he started to hit that one spot that drove me mad. 

I kissed him passionately and whispered pleas for him to enter quickly before I finished once again. 

He smiled as I helped him pull his rock hard member from his pants and underwear, positioning it just below me.

He entered fast and without hesitation. 

"Jean!"

He thrust into me with fury and passion that I had been missing for the past 6 years of my life. He wanted me I could tell by the way he pulled me down to kiss him. How he didn't want me to stop kissing him even as we both came and I ruined his t shirt. 

I rolled over to his side and looked up to him to see the hurt upon his face.

"I'm sorry for leaving you... I thought I was doing you a favor -"

"You weren't."

He sat up and cleaned himself off as I cleaned myself off. 

"You're really not seeing him?"

I smiled as I pushed him down on the bed and kissed him.

"No, he already has someone plus he's not you.."

Jean smirked and pulled me close to him, letting me place my head upon his chest.

I traced circles on his skin and looked up to him, "You'll be here when I wake up right?" 

I could see the pain in Jean's eyes, we were both living with it and would rather dust it under the rug but we both knew we had to talk about it eventually. 

"I promise I'm not going anywhere."

I smiled and prayed as I drifted off to sleep that his words would stay true.


End file.
